I'm Not Afraid
by tkari
Summary: Ren wakes up screaming each night, blood and scars on his body, only talking about 'monsters', but he cant tell Jun. So instead, he intrusts Horo with these secrets, but has the 6year old dragged his friend into more than he can handle?


A/N: Hey guys, sorry if ya all getting bored with just SK fics, but what can I say, I'm obsessed, lol. Anywho, this certain lil fic is set when Ren n stuff were lil kids, about the age of six, and since I don't know the ages of the others since I look towards research as an evil conspiracy, the others will probably be the same age or something, I donno, lolz. Anywho, for you yaoi fans out there, there are VERY SMALL hints of HoroxRen in this fic, but it's just a really close friendship, but I cant control what you guys see it as (as much as I try… alas.. failure again.. v.v'') Lol…um.. yah… Read and review please, lolz. Oh yah, En didn't get to play mind games with Ren in this one when it was set… so Ren's just a normal lil boy (well.. normal for Ren- No Jenna! Please don't kill meh? I din mean it I swear? Ren is perfectly normal! Honest::cowers before Jen-Tao07:) Anywho, read and review please. '':)

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I'm Not Afraid 

Chapter 1: Yet Another Night

Jun sighed and walked, half-heartedly rushing down the cold corridor.

Her bare feet making a slight slapping noise on the cold, wooden floor as her messy green hair managed to tie itself into even more knots.

This was _not_ a good time to be woken up.

As she came to a room the screaming and crying got louder as someone called for help from within, their voice frightened and cracking as if the child had been screaming for hours on end.

Jun, again half-heartedly, scanned the room as she opened the door, her calm blue eyes looking slightly cold in the small patch of light that spilled into the room from the corridor, yet holding a hidden hint of annoyance as the crying suddenly stopped at her entrance.

As usual the window to the far side of the room was open as rain blew into the light-purple painted bedroom, making a small puddle of rainwater on the floor.

The lilac curtains, like many times before, were slightly torn as she sighed, not wanting to have to bother repairing them again.

Jun's eyes carried on scanning the room, her gaze making its way around the objects that lay on the floor, some broken whilst others remained in one piece and were merely thrown there… and finally, her gaze fell upon the form of a child, who, as usual, was huddled in the corner next to his bed.

"…Ren…?" Asked Jun, stepping into the room fully and switching on a lamp that stood next to his bed, letting a dim light into the room.

She waited for a response from the shaking form of her younger brother, but when she got none she sighed and knelt down, knowing that if she approached him then he would run from the room and lock himself in the bathroom like he had done many times before.

"It's ok, Ren, the monsters are gone now." Jun tried to sooth him, guessing what all of the screaming had been about.

"They-…they'll come b-back…" The tiny voice of a quivering child spoke as the young boy hugged himself to try and stop the shaking, "They _always _c-come back…"

Jun sighed and tried to approach Ren to give him a comforting hug, but stopped as her brother's body stiffened, indicating that he would run for it if she came near him, so instead she moved to switch on the light, but his eyes golden darted towards her as she did so, pleading her not to switch it on – he preferred to stay in the dark.

"Ren… Ren I'm going back to bed now, ok?" Jun was far to tired to even bother trying to get her brother to say anything about what had happened, she knew it was the same as before: he had had a nightmare and trashed the room again whilst fighting these so-called 'monsters'. She knew he wouldn't own up to it anyway, and besides, she had training in the morning, and she needed her strength for the doshi spell that her master was making her do tomorrow.

The small figure of the six-year-old nodded and said 'goodnight' to his elder sister.

"You know where I am if you need me." With that she left, closing the door behind her yet leaving the lamp on just in case Ren didn't want to stay in the dark – he could always turn it off after she left.

Ren watched from the shadows as his big sister left the room, he knew she was mad at him for waking her up again, but he couldn't help it… they just wouldn't leave him alone…

Ren waited for a few minutes to make sure Jun was defiantly gone, he knew she was, but just wanted to make sure. His yellow, cat-like eyes staring at nothing but the ceiling for he was too scared to look around the room at the moment, afraid of finding traces of the nights terror.

Finally, the six-year-old gained the courage he had been waiting for and stood up from the temporary safety of his corner, looking around at his bedroom.

His toys were scattered all over the place, some broken while others remained intact.

His eyes saddened as they fell upon the form of his toy wooden boat that Jun had made for him when he was three, yet now the boat was in pieces as splinters and chips of wood littered the small area of flooring where it had landed.

His heart jumped and skipped a beat as he noticed the small droplets of blood near the centre of the room, _his_ blood, but he sighed in relief as he realised that his sister hadn't seen them, for she hadn't said anything, but still, he was so _careful _as to keep to the shadows so that any blood lost would be covered up by darkness.

The purple-haired boy walked over to the lamp, glad that Jun had left it on or else he may not have had the courage to move until morning like the last time, and opened the small drawer of the table on which the lamp stood, taking out an old, dirty cloth and a sponge.

There, in the tiny amount of light that the lamp gave out, he began to tidy the mess of the room, firstly that meant scrubbing off any bloodstains before they became too dry.

Ren scrubbed at the floor, making sure that no traces of the red liquid remained as he worked – mainly in the shadows for that was where most of the blood had fallen – as he did so at least three times a week.

Once he was sure that the floor was blood-free he moved onto clearing away the mess.

He felt like he was going to cry as he placed the small boat into the bin as he remembered that Jun had said it would last forever when she had made it, '_just like my love for you, little brother,'_ she had said, but now Ren felt like her love was breaking, just like the boat had, for with each night that passed she was becoming more and more ignorant of his screaming, and probably tried to block it out, only getting up to come see what's wrong when she can take no more.

_If only you knew that you chased them away,_ Ren thought sadly as he heard the 'clunk' of the boat hitting the bottom of the bin, _then would you still try to egnore me?_

The small, purple-haired, shaman-in-training placed all of his none-broken toys back where they belonged in their different places on the shelves and in the boxes, before tying the top of the bin-bag into a knot and leaving it till morning to take it outside.

He looked around the now tidy room with a satisfied smirk, thinking of how that was the quickest he had ever tidied it.

I'm recovering from the night much faster, he thought; suddenly wincing as he felt the sting of a fresh cut on his skin. 

Ren walked back to the table and placed the cloth and sponge back into the drawer before removing a towel and wrapping it around him.

Carefully and silently, Ren crept out of the door, using the towel as extra protection just in case by any chance Jun would be around and would see him – he could cover himself with the greying material.

The slightly pale child made his way to the bathroom as he crept swiftfully down the cold corridor towards the one room in the large mansion that actually contained a lock apart from the doors that lead to the outside.

Ren quickly locked the creamy-coloured door as he got inside, leaning against the wood as he turned on the light.

He squinted and blinked a few times, waiting for his eyes to adjust to the sudden amount of light that filled the small room.

After about a minute or so Ren turned on the shower and carefully removed his top, making sure not to rub it against any wounds.

Ren looked at his upper body in the mirror that was on the wall, his skin was bruised and scarred from previous nights, and fresh blood seeped from newly-made wounds on his arms and chest.

Ren knelt down and took up a floorboard, placing the plank of wood aside as the smart youngster took out a container full of salt along with a mug, and filled the mug with warm water and a small amount of salt before placing the container – followed by the floorboard – back in their original places.

Ren took a piece of tissue from the side and placed it in the warm, salty water, then winced as painful stinging shot up his arm as he placed the tissue on an open wound.

After repeatedly bathing his wounds with the nasty liquid, Ren placed the wet, bloody tissue in the bin and put the cup back under the floorboards before full undressing and forcing his body to move beneath the shower, trying his hardest not to turn it off as the slightly hot water beat down onto his skin.

Ren didn't like showering with open wounds; he could take the salt solution, that wasn't a problem since he could take off the tissue once the stinging became too much, but with the shower the water stung his skin continuously and he knew that he couldn't get out of it, or else he wouldn't get back in until the next night.

After showering, Ren walked hurriedly back to his room, not wanting to take his time in the hall-way since no lights were on, and placed the towel back in the drawer next to the sponge and cloth.

Ren walked back to his bed, deciding that he would scrub the slight bloodstains out of his clothes in the morning while Jun was out training, for he was too tired to do so now.

But, before Ren could sleep at all, he crawled under his bed and, using the pen knife he kept there, decided to do what Jun had always told him to do when he was afraid: face his fears. So, at approximately two-thirty in the morning, Ren carved three words into the wooden floorboards that lay hidden beneath his bed: _'I'm not afraid'._

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A/N: Um… Yah.. poor lil Ren.. He aint met the others yet btw, but Horo's just about to come to his school! Yay! …And now my face burns… wtf was in those facial wipes! I swear those people who develop this kinda stuff are tryin to kill me! TT …Ah well… If I die at least I will know you got to read my stories! Yay! Oh yah, I'm TRYING MY HARDEST (jen n kim n jess: yeah right ¬¬) to update the rest of my stories, but I'm suffering from severe writers block at the mo and my laptops being attacked by viruses…LEAVE MY LAPTOP ALONE YOU EVIL VIRUS SCUM! UR ILL GET REN TO GLARE AT YOU ALL! YOU HEARD ME! BLAHAHAHAHHAAHAAAAA! Um… yah...so… Yah… Review please!


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